5 Secrets for Ending Painful Sex

Painful sex or dyspareunia is pain with penetrative or non-penetrative sexual activity. People that have painful sex may sometimes (but not always) have pain with tampon insertion or OB exams.

Here are the top 5 secrets to eliminate pain with sex.

Secret #1 - Perform (partner) stretches prior to sex

Prior to sexy time, you need to get stretched out and ready for action- almost like preparing for a sport. You can do your stretches solo or with a partner.

Watch this video for partner stretches to prepare your pelvic floor for sex.

Secret #2 - Do not be ashamed to use lubricant

It is normal to go through periods of dryness. Lubrication levels fluctuate monthly, daily, hourly. Lubrication can be affected by hormones, breastfeeding, or certain medications. Personal lubricant can enhance your sexual experience by decreasing painful friction.

Click this link for Dr. Maddy's complete guide to lubricant.

Tip #3 - Learn how to relax your pelvic floor muscles during penetration

During penetration, the pelvic floor muscles should be completely relaxed. This is the opposite of a kegel. To practice relaxing your pelvic floor muscles, perform a kegel and then completely relax. Your pelvic floor should be in this relaxed state during penetration.

Tip #4 - Perform deep, diaphragmatic breaths

If you notice pain at any time, slow down and take deep, belly breaths. This will help activate your parasympathetic, calming nervous system to reduce pain levels. Sometimes it is even beneficial to take deep, calming breaths prior to sex to jumpstart the parasympathetic nervous system.

Tip #5 - Release pelvic floor muscle spasms

Just like your shoulders and back muscles, you can get muscle spasms in your pelvic floor muscles. You may need to release these muscle spasms in order to decrease pain with sex. Often, it is beneficial to purchase a pelvic wand in order to best reach the deeper muscles of the pelvic floor. Talk to your pelvic floor physical therapist on how to best release these knots, tips on how to use a pelvic wand, and recommendations on where to purchase this wand.

Lasting relief for pain with sex

The only way to achieve lasting relief for painful sex is by getting to the root cause of the pain. It is NOT normal to have pain with sex. (I don't care who told you it is normal!) If you have pain with sex, it is time to make an appointment with your pelvic health physical therapist. Pelvic health physical therapists are experts at treating pelvic pain and provide a holistic treatment to resolve this issue. It is time to get back to enjoying sex with your partner!

Author: Dr. Madison Roth, owner of Inspire Pelvic Physical Therapy